3 ways how my thoughts on hustle culture and work-life balance have changed
I used to work at a startup incubator so, of course, the “hustle culture” was a daily occupational hazard. Compared to my previous job where it was mind-numbing and 9–5, my immature self thought that this was how people trying to make a difference really worked: “hustle culture” was for the change-makers and I was not going to be another sheep. I was going to be creative and so productive, and work-life balance was a crock of sh*t.
So I approached work with young, naïve fervor and enthusiasm. My work became my priority. I became that person who hid away with her laptop at family gatherings, always thought about tasks and deliverables, and was frequently replying to emails late into the evening. At first I was happy and even secretly judged people who went ‘offline’ after 5 pm. I had something to prove, more so since I had left behind a cushy but boring set-for-life job.
I didn’t think too much of how my attitude towards work-life balance impacted me until a handful of months ago when I thought about how exhausted I was all the time after work. Here are the top 3 things that I have realized retrospectively as I embarked on a journey to regain some semblance of a more fulfilling and happier life:
1) A healthy work-life boundary is a sign of self-respect
When I worked at the incubator, one of the things that contributed to me putting the majority of my energy towards work was job security, or lack thereof: I was employed on a part-time basis with no benefits, and with my contract needing to be renewed every 6 months. As a result, I thought that I had to always prove myself to my boss, and I did that by putting in countless unpaid hours to show that I was always bring productive and then some. I rarely took time off and felt so grateful and special when I got to go to a conference or an after-hours event. I was totally bought into “hustle culture” and while I did some great things, it was also quite mentally unhealthy.
This demonstrated that I let a bunch of work-related insecurities dictate my worth. I put what I perceived my boss thought about me over my own values and respect for my time. I had no boundaries when it came to work. In the end, alongside some other happenings, it cultivated a bunch of resentment. Even when I decided to quit, I was terrified of how my boss would react to my two weeks notice but I felt so light afterwards.
Admittedly, I still struggle with those same insecurities when I’m having a really bad work week. But this experience at the incubator (which wasn’t all bad, mind you) taught me that having a work-life balance starts with respecting myself, my time, and putting my needs before those of my employer.
Especially if I’m only paid for a certain number of hours.
2) It’s ok to take a break because being burned out is NOT fun and recovery is hard
But “hustle culture” isn’t necessarily a bad thing — as with many other things, there is often a time and place where something is appropriate. That mentality serves me well in my current job when it’s time to grind, and it’s really nice to finally be acknowledged for the work that I put in.
But a little something called a pandemic amplified certain gaps that needed addressing ASAP, and that meant a lot of overtime. I didn’t mind since everybody across the organization was pitching in, but being on work-mode constantly for a good while took it’s toll eventually. There were several times when I did my usual 9–5, then went home for a quick break/shower/nap, then back to work for 10–6 overnight, nap in the office for a few hours and then back to work 9–5 (I call it a ‘triple’).
I realized I was burned out when one day I woke up and almost cried at the thought of having to go to work. And realizing that even when I didn’t pull a triple or even a double, I was just mentally exhausted. What once brought me joy was a source of pain. Let’s just say it took a lot of sleep to get over it and telling myself, “no more triple’s”.
Again, another lesson in putting myself first, because being sick isn’t going to help pay the bills or get things done. It’s ok to relax, work is one of those things that will never stop.
3) Work should fund my personal goals, not replace them
Now let’s take a step back. Every year, I try to figure out how my year is going to go. Call them resolutions if you want, but I try to be systematic about setting my goals, such as doing monthly reviews and setting up milestones, trackers, etc. But too many times I tell myself, “I can push that until next month”, and when I do my year-end review, I haven’t gotten as far as I wanted.
One day, I read one of those motivational quotes on social media that really resonated with me, and still does today:
“Don’t work 8 hours for a company then go home and not work on your own goals”.
That is exactly what I had been doing… or not… Even though I know growing as a person requires putting in the work in that aspect too, I was putting myself second to work, AGAIN. What is wrong with me??!
So these days, unless it’s something absolutely urgent, I am training myself to stay away from anything work-related when I leave the office. I am starting to understand the concept of “protected time” and while I had some initial reservations about the new “Right to disconnect” policy here in Canada, I’m not against it either. It also helps that my current boss is a great example of work-life balance (he actually encourages us to take time off), and that I don’t have the same job security anxiety as before.
That being said, I’m not going to be a dick about it. There will always be times where flexibility is required. But if my employer gets me for 8 hours a day, the rest of my time should be spent on how I want to spend them, and I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. When I do my yearly review, I want to see the personal growth I’ve made versus feel disappointment.
